Restless Spirits
by SwiftWhiteWolf
Summary: Remus Lupin cant come to terms with nearly killing Snape. In emotional turmoil hes terrified of what his future may hold. To escape his own personal hell he gets a little help from a spirit trapped in purgatory. Selfish!Sirius, Envious!Peter, LE/SS JP/? RL/SB. Marauders era. Many new character insights. Warning for potential later yaoi and/or yuri pairings. M for later chapters.
1. Sanctuary

**Prologue**

_Oh gods, not again…_Remus thought as he stumbled against the faded green wall. His heart was pounding and his thoughts racing again. The panic attacks were more frequent, and each time they happened now they seemed to get worse. The sixteen year old gasped in fear as his thoughts spun wildly. His head felt like it was going to explode; he needed some fresh air. Remus looked back down the stairs and a sense of vertigo suddenly overtook him. He drew in another rough, shaky breath and turned back around to weave down the hallway. The faded paint made a grim backdrop for the myriad of cobwebs clinging along the ceiling and in the corners. Old paintings of long dead family members lined the walls, neglected for too long to be considered beautiful anymore. The young man struggled to the end of the hall and a wooden door there, nearly tripping on what had once been a cream colored rug in the process. One slender, scarred hand reached for the old brass doorknob as another wave of dizziness struck him. Remus sagged against the door and it creaked open, depositing the lanky teen on a hardwood floor. He lay there panting heavily for a few moments before managing to crawl away and kick the door shut. His brown eyes, unfocused and blurred by the panic rising inside him took in the large attic room. Boxes and trunks were crammed oddly against the far wall, covered in a thin layer of dust and cobwebs. To his left was an ancient queen sized bed, laden with crocheted blankets. An area rug matching the one in the hallway dominated the floor, and to his right was a set of doors leading to a small balcony. Yellowed lace curtains covered the doors, which doubled as windows. An adjacent, spindly wooden table sported a similar lace coat, flanked by two mismatched wing-backed chairs. The rest of the available space was consumed by a sagging bookshelf packed with books and a broken wardrobe that had seen much better days. Remus himself had also seen better days, although none too recently.

The young man tried to focus on slowing his thoughts down, on suppressing the vile memories that plagued his every waking moment and haunted him in his nightmares. _Breathe, don`t forget to breathe._ His attempts were less than successful as he moved clumsily to the balcony doors and shoved them open. The cool autumn air hit him like a slap to the face, chilling the young man through his thin shirt. Remus collapsed again, only half outside. He was hyperventilating now. His vision became dim and dark around the edges, and after a few more seconds he lost consciousness. Unnoticed by the young man a pair of silvery gray eyes watched him from the shadows of the attic. The watched had just witnessed one more of many such attacks Remus had been victim to over this summer.

**Chapter One: Sanctuary**

"Has anyone seen Remus lately?" Sirius Black inquired of his friends as they sat clustered around a folding table, playing a hand of cards. Sirius was shuffling the deck to ready for the next round of Euchre.

"He disappeared right after dinner, said he wasn`t feeling well. I imagine he`s resting in the library like last time." James Potter spoke up from Sirius`s left. His own face showed little concern when Sirius raised a pair of dark eyebrows at him. "What? You know it`s close to his time, he`s probably just tired as usual." James explained matter-of-factly. To his left another, shorter boy shrugged. His curly brownish hair framed a cherubic face with rosy cheeks.

"He`s been like that this summer, tired and anxious I mean." Peter Pettigrew added as he uncorked a fresh bottle of non-alcoholic butterbeer. "I think it`s mostly stress from the exams coming up next year. D`you know he already started studying for them? Like a nutter. Won`t even enjoy these last few weeks of freedom before we head back to school."

Sirius looked between the two of them with a mixed expression of concern and disbelief. "Are you kidding? That is bloody crazy. NEWTS are a whole year away and he`s already worried about them? No wonder the bloke`s not feeling good. Makes me cringe just thinking about it."

An old grandfather clock in one corner chimed the hour- ten o`clock at night. All three teens spared it a glance. Their friend and schoolmate had been missing for some time now. "We should probably go look for him. See if he`s feeling any better, what do you guys think?" James declared as he rolled his shoulders and attempted to rid them of the stiffness that had settled there.

"Yeah, that`s a good idea. Maybe he`ll be up to playing cards with us." Sirius commented and rose from his chair. Peter followed suit with a noncommittal shrug. He took another swig from his drink before it was placed upon the table next to their abandoned card game. The boys trouped up and wandered out of the billiards room, complete with a bar, dart boards, and a jukebox that weren`t currently in use. Dinner had been over some three hours ago, and James`s parents, the Lord and Lady of Potter Manor had long since gone to bed. The rest of the guests they`d entertained for James`s birthday had left and the huge house, with its accompanying estate was mostly quiet now. Save for a few familiar creaks and groans here and there from the home`s ancient foundations, the place was fairly peaceful. A light rain pattered on the roof and windows, seasonable weather for early August in Yorkshire. James, Sirius, and Peter ventured forth to a long hallway framed on one side by tall windows and on the other by expensive oil paintings. James led the group, followed closely by Sirius as they made towards the rear of the house and a small staircase leading to the second floor and the library. Flickering gas lamps set in to the walls illuminated the path there with a warm glow. When the trio reached the library though, Remus was nowhere to be found. A few books lay open on one table, suggesting that he may have been there earlier. James looked around in bewilderment, scratching at his head of messy black hair.

"Well I wonder where else he could have gotten off to?" He voiced his thoughts aloud. Sirius gave him a shrug in response, and Peter examined the volumes Remus appeared to have set aside to browse.

" '_Herbal Cure for Horrible Curses'_, _'Advances In Modern Medicine'_, and _'Of Men and Monsters'_. Looks like he was in to some pretty heavy reading about his problem." The chubby fifteen year-old told his friends, holding up the last tome in the stack. James and Sirius both eyed the book uneasily. Remus had been obsessing more and more over his affliction as a werewolf as of late it seemed. All of his friends had noticed, but none of them had perceived just how badly the events of the prior school year were haunting him. They had all put the 'incident' with Severus a.k.a. "Snivellus" Snape behind them for the most part. Maybe buried was a more accurate description. Remus, however, had not done so. He didn`t mention it to the other Marauders, and was quick to change the subject if the topic ever came up. The werewolf knew none of them truly understood. How could they?

"What now?" James asked them, at a loss for ideas as worry began to prick more sharply at his conscious.

"We could split up and go looking for him." Sirius suggested, shoving his hands in to the pockets of his dark, designer jeans. The hooded sweater he wore only accentuated the hunching of his slender shoulders as he slouched back towards the door past James. "I`ll take the ground floor." He told them, not waiting for a response before he left.

"I suppose I`ll cover the third floor then, since I know it makes you uncomfortable. We`ll meet back here in half an hour." James told Peter before he too parted ways. That left Peter to search the current floor with its bedrooms, bathrooms, and the drawing room across the hall.

So far, Sirius wasn`t having much luck finding his friend. He`d checked the kitchens already, double checked the billiards room and dining room, and searched the Potter`s private lounge for guests. So far all had been empty with no recent signs of Remus Lupin`s presence. He knocked on the door of the guest bathroom and found it to be empty as well. Next, the young wizard tried the music room where the family kept a lovely baby grand piano and other instruments. Most of them hadn`t been played in a while, and none were used very frequently save the piano. Sirius knew that Remus had a fondness for the piano from time to time, and had thought to check here on a whim. His friend wasn`t particularly gifted with musical talent, but sometimes he fancied he could play a few decent tunes. Examining the room and said instrument in particular, Sirius could find no indication that Remus had come here earlier either. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his silky, shoulder length black hair as if by doing so he might uncover some clue to the werewolf`s location.

Sirius thought himself a bit more concerned than the other two Marauders when it came to Remus`s affliction. The missing young man in question had seen to that. After Sirius had encouraged his friends to use an unknowing, transformed Remus as part of a prank on Snivellus last year, the aforementioned companion had guilt-tripped Sirius Black within an inch of his aristocratic life. He had not taken kindly to being used in such a fashion, and had taken the attempted 'prank' without humor. He`d told Sirius he felt betrayed by what he had done, and that the other should have considered how such an action would make Remus feel. Had Remus, in his full-moon induced frenzied state attacked Severus Snape and succeeded in harming him, his life would have been on the line. His school career would have ended, he`d have been made to undergo a full trial by the wizarding courts, likely been found guilty, and sentenced to either death or a lifetime imprisonment in Azkaban. Lupin had been deeply disturbed by the ordeal, as much as, if not more so, than his would-have-been victim. Of course Sirius had given the matter thought afterwards, and apologized profusely, but he couldn`t grasp the full gravity of what had happened. Looking back, although he was involved, Sirius felt the memories replay as if from a distance. He could almost pretend he was hearing someone else`s thoughts. Yes, he felt remorse, but not nearly what Remus seemed to think was appropriate. The werewolf had only begun speaking to Padfoot again about a month ago, after weeks of silence. Sirius himself, while not as disturbed as Remus over the matter, had taken it as his duty to regain the lycanthrope`s trust, and his full friendship. It was a hard lesson to learn, and Black was finding that trust was a rarely earned and prized commodity. If the incident hadn`t shaken Sirius, Remus`s own cold demeanor towards him following the event certainly had. They`d been friends for a long time, confiding in each other, pranking rivals, and sharing memories together. Losing Remus`s friendship had felt like losing an arm to Sirius, much as losing James`s or Peter`s might have. Sirius took the fault for that night last year upon himself. He knew it was his burden to bear, but also that Remus would feel much the same, if unjustly so. Even if he didn`t fully comprehend all the ramifications resulting from that occurrence, Sirius did know one thing for sure. He needed and valued the Marauders` companionship. He was afraid with the way Remus had been acting more distant towards the group overall that Moony planned to leave them. That such a decision might be caused by his foolish actions made Sirius cringe. He felt that because Remus all but worshipped James for preventing the incident, and fairly ignored Peter`s involvement, that the other two could not understand his guilt. How could he justify this feeling that he cared more about Remus`s state of mind and being more than the werewolf`s other friends? If Sirius had understood himself a bit better, perhaps he wouldn`t need to ask himself that question.

In the drawing room, Peter`s search wasn`t any more fruitful than Sirius`s. The only person who seemed to have spent time here today was Lady Liana Potter. James`s mother was a fanciful and talented painter. A fresh canvas stood half-finished on an easel near one of the floor to ceiling windows in the medium sized room. Said painting depicted a sunset beginning to touch the tops of a forest in late summer. Peter noted that the woman appeared to have been trying to recreate a scene on the Potter`s own property by the subject matter of the portrait. She`d done a good job so far, the teen Gryffindor thought. _James is lucky to have such a talented and well to do family._ Pettigrew eyed the fine appointments and expensive paints in the room with envy. His own family, much like Remus Lupin`s was very poor. Peter`s parents fought nearly constantly, and he had no siblings. Part of the arguments between his parents involved Peter`s mother not being able to have any more children, and his father`s suspicions that he was sterile and Peter was a bastard child. Pettigrew idolized James Potter and was jealous of him at the same time. James came from a wealthy, healthy family with loving parents and many privileges. Wormtail didn`t have a chance at any of those things as his life was now he felt. He wasn`t as good looking as James or Sirius or Remus. No girl`s head turned to stare and fawn over him in the halls at school, and he wasn`t talented at many things as James was. Even obtaining his animagus form, Peter had had help from the other boys. He wasn`t even respected for his study habits, as Remus was. _Remus, how well they don`t know you. If everyone knew your secret I bet you would be even less popular than me._ The young wizard thought with a mixture of pity and kinship. He dawdled for a bit longer, thinking wishfully of what his life might be like if he were just born a different person, or to a different family. Finally his attention was drawn back to the present and he rejoined the search. Outside the rain continued to fall, gaining strength.

A stiff, chilly breeze ruffled Remus`s tawny hair as he lay half on the attic`s balcony. Cold rain had soaked his shirt and dropped his body temperature. When he awoke from his involuntary sleep, it was to his own shivering and teeth chattering together. With a half-choked snort he revived and sat up. It took the cursed wizard a moment to recall where he was and how he had gotten there. Shaking more from the cold than from any panic now he retreated inside the attic of Potter Manor. Remus peered around the all-too familiar room with a certain sense of relief. He walked a bit unsteadily over to the bed and striped off his sodden shirt. As he crawled under the blankets warmth slowly crept back in to his body. He didn`t give any thought as to if his friends had noticed him gone yet or if they were worried for him. Just because he was too guilt ridden and afraid of his own curse didn`t mean they had to share in his misery. Moony knew that the other Marauders didn`t dwell constantly on last year`s prank gone awry. He however, did and couldn`t seem to help himself from doing so. Just when Remus could take his mind from the matter something would always remind him of it. (Usually Sirius making fun of Slytherins.) The smallest things seemed to set him off. Only a few days after the incident he`d started to experience panic attacks. The more time passed the worse and more frequent the attacks became. He hadn`t told anyone, and in fact had been hiding these occurrences to the best of his ability. Considering his condition and the fact that he`d been living as a werewolf under the noses of an entire wizarding school for what was going on six years now he thought himself fairly skilled at hiding things. Remus hated lying to everyone, but to him doing so was a necessity. He hadn`t the luxury of sharing his whole life with anyone, let alone everyone, sometimes he had trouble just being honest with himself because of this. When he could, Lupin sought out places of refuge for himself, away from the world. Feeling like he was falling apart he feared for anyone to witness it. As a Gryffindor, he was supposed to be brave. But as a person, looking in the mirror, he saw a coward, weakness, and a monster that deserved neither sympathy nor empathy. Remus thought he was selfish to _want_ those things, and stubbornly refused to admit on his own that he might _need_ them. He came to this dusty old attic in Potter Manor tonight to escape his friends, their undeserved warmth, and his own panic. Here no one could judge him good or bad; he was alone with no biased friends to either comfort or reject him. This was, like the Shrieking Shack, a sort of grim haven for the werewolf. Remus lay wide awake now, his brown eyes staring wide at the ceiling as he mentally berated himself for losing control of his thoughts and panicking again. It was the fifth time this week; the attacks happened almost daily now. _How much longer can I live like this?_ The teen silently inquired of no one in particular. He folded his arms under his head as he lay on his back. Out loud he said to himself;

"I can`t keep doing this. I`m hanging off some cliff by my fingertips and they`re slipping. One of these days I`m going to fall right off and hurt someone. I might even kill them by accident, like I almost did last year…I don`t think I could live with myself if I did that." Bloody hell was he glad no one else was around to hear him say that. When had he started talking to himself, he wondered? Moony watched dust mites swirling in a ray of moonlight, and listened to the wind through the trees outside. Anywhere else it would have sounded like wolves howling in the distance to him. Here in the attic though it didn`t. Remus couldn`t explain the strange sense of detached peace he felt in the place. It was like crossing the threshold forced his mind to calm and focus. Something about this room seemed to say 'you`re not allowed to freak out here.' It was slightly musty, and exceedingly old. The attic smelled like a library, but if he opened the balcony doors he could scent the lilacs growing nearby and the forest beyond the house. He was comfortable here, maybe because no one else seemed to know where he was. It was a good place to hide from the world. _Or not…_A sound from out in the hallways caught his attention; the floorboards creaking as someone walked towards the attic. _Crap, I left the door open! _Remus thought, sitting up with a quick jerk. He wanted to stay hidden until morning before he would have to lie to his friends about why he`d taken off so abruptly after dinner and where he`d gone. Remus was up and standing before he actually looked at the door…and noticed it was closed. His shirt was right where he`d left it on the floor, untouched. The balcony doors were still partly ajar as he hadn`t shut them. But, the portal to the hallway was inexplicably sealed. When, no, _how_ had that happened? _Did the wind blow it closed earlier? _He stood uneasily in front of the door, waiting for someone to open it and discover him.

"Where the blazes did he go?" James`s muttered voice came from the other side. _Here it comes…_Remus thought, his breath still held. James grabbed the doorknob and jiggled it, trying to open the door. The door didn't budge, however. "Locked as usual. I didn`t figure he`d be in here anyways…" The birthday boy commented to himself, and moved on miraculously.

Remus was utterly bewildered. He knew he hadn`t done that. So the question presented itself; who had? Disbelieving, Remus looked around the room. There was no one else there though. No footsteps disturbed the dust but his own, and no other scents lingered in the room but those which he`d come to associate with the place itself. He scratched his chin thoughtfully and went to close the balcony doors. Nothing stuck out to him as Remus returned to and sat down upon the bed. He slid under the covers once more, but sat up again a few minutes later. He had the awkward sensation he was being watched. Again he stared around the room and strained his senses for anything out of place, and again noticed nothing. Too edgy to sleep, he got up and fetched a book from the much overstuffed case in one corner and brought it back with him to the bed. He began to read by wand light. The book was very old and appeared to be a handwritten collection of short stories. He couldn`t find a name for the author, but inside the front cover were a set of initials; **A. L. B.**The stories within varied from comedy to romance to tragedy, but all seemed to have one thing in common. The characters within all bore the names of various stars, constellations, or planetary bodies. Remus also found it odd that the stories were sometimes composed in different colored ink, as if someone had begun to write and stopped, only to return at some later time. He chose from the tales at random and discovered that the last one seemed to be a tragedy. It was also unfinished, and Moony wondered how it might have ended. He eventually fell asleep, the unfinished book lying open on the bed next to him.

_Of all the books in here, of all the stories, you had to pick mine, huh? Sorry to disappoint you, but I never did get around to finishing it…_ A slender, feminine figure sat curled up in one of the wing-backed chairs near the balcony doors. Her silvery-gray eyes watched the troubled wizard as he slept, observing him with a knowing gaze. She flicked her wrist and the blankets slid up more securely around the one called Remus. The ghost didn`t mind that he`d stolen her bed, it was nice to have company. Almost a century and a half of being stuck in the same room got pretty boring after a while.


	2. The Morning After

**Chapter Two: The Morning After**

"Good morning mum." James kissed his mother on the cheek before he sat down to breakfast the next morning. Peter was still upstairs trying to rouse Sirius from his bed in one of the many guest rooms. Remus hadn`t reappeared yet, although James had heard the shower running as he walked by the room his friend had been staying in while at the Potters`.

"Good morning dear. You`re quite perky today for staying up so late last night." Liana commented before she took a sip of her tea. Nearby an elderly house elf named Pip was busy setting out their meal. A loud thud sounded from somewhere on the second floor, causing James Potter Senior to glance upwards as he also entered the dining area. His son`s ears turned red and his roguish face colored slightly.

"Sorry, I`ll let them know to quiet down. I didn`t realize we`d disturbed you." James explained, rubbing the back of his neck and ducking his head in apology.

"It`s alright son, yesterday was your birthday. We understand, your sweet sixteen only happens once." The elder James indulged his son with a pat on the shoulder as he passed by to take a seat at the head of his table. Liana, who was seated to his right, handed her husband of many years the newspaper. He squeezed her hand appreciatively before cracking the paper open. Pip was joined a moment later by another house elf called Nan, who was also her daughter. Nan popped in to the room with a bright smile and a platter of toast stacked about a foot high in one hand. The other bore a tray with various jams and spreads. She set both trays on the table and popped away again. Pip had fetched a carafe of hot coffee from the kitchen as well and was now filling a mug at James Sr`s elbow.

"Thank you, Pip." He told the bat-eared creature with a kind smile. The expression reached his warm blue eyes with ease.

"Master is too kind." Pip replied bashfully, but grinned all the same. She had been with the Potter family for as long as James could remember, and had probably been around long before he was born. The pleasant interlude was interrupted by Remus`s arrival in to the dining room, or more appropriately by the crash as Peter clumsily tripped down the stairs right behind him. Sirius ambled after them and laughed, then interrupted himself with a wide yawn.

"Take it easy, Wormtail. The bacon`s not even here yet." James snickered from his chair. He eyed Remus with a curious glance, which the other boy carefully pretended not to notice. The werewolf`s sandy brown hair was darker than normal, still wet from his recent shower. His face seemed pale and drawn, and he moved as if walking under water. Peter regained his feet and hurried to grab the single seat next to Prongs. Sirius resisted the urge to snort at his antics and took the seat across from him. Remus seemed unhappy, but he took the last open seat (next to Sirius and across from Peter) without comment.

"Good morning boys." Liana greeted them cheerfully. She allowed Nan to lean past her and place platters of bacon, sausage, eggs, and breakfast rolls on the table. Pip bore pitchers of orange, pumpkin, and apple juice as well as water and milk forward, and soon the large antique table was all but groaning under the weight of food. Sirius, Remus, and Peter returned Liana`s greeting, and James Sr`s in turn when he looked up from his paper for a moment. The graying male Potter seemed to be more absorbed in his readings than usual. As it was Sunday, he had the day off from his curse breaking job for the Ministry of Magic and therefore the time to indulge himself in such a pursuit. The boys all busied themselves with the meal, loading their plates with the savory breakfast foods. Remus had chosen a few sausages and some toast; he didn`t seem to have much of an appetite this morning. He pushed the remnants around his plate halfheartedly until he noticed James and Sirius were giving him questioning looks. Peter was of course still absorbed in his breakfast. The house elves had already cleared up the used pates and silverware when Mr. Potter stood up rather abruptly and began to walk out of the room, paper clutched tightly in one hand. A few steps from the door he paused and excused himself,

"Liana, I`ve just realized there`s something I need to speak to Dolohov about. I`ll need to head in to the Ministry to catch him, he was working over today to tidy up some loose ends."

"Is there something the matter dear?" Liana asked in a concerned tone. Such behavior was rather unlike her husband. _Was there something I missed in the news?_ The middle elderly witch wondered at her spouse`s sudden urgency.

"I`m not sure yet. I have a hunch though that something isn`t quite right." James Sr. replied honestly. "I`m sorry Li, but this could be important. I`ll be home by lunch time if I can track Anthony down fast enough." He strode from the room with everyone`s eyes upon his back and went in to the adjoining lounge the family used for floo travel. Liana`s apprehensive gaze followed her husband until her son`s voice broke the resulting quiet;

"What`s got his knickers in such a twist?" He was regarding his mother with puzzled blue eyes. The pretty blonde witch drank the last of her tea before she replied.

"If I knew, I would tell you son. I haven`t the faintest idea."

"Who`re Dolohov and Anthony?" Remus inquired of the Potter heir curiously. James Jr. turned to his friend.

"They`re the same person. Anthony Dolohov is an Unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. He and Dad have been friends since Mr. D joined the Ministry. I`m not sure why he wants to talk to him so badly all of a sudden though. Maybe it has something to do with the cases he`s been working on?" James shrugged.

"We can only wonder. As it were, weren`t you boys planning on heading out to Diagon Alley for your school supplies today?" Lady Potter redirected the conversation to a less sensitive topic as tactfully as she could, given the circumstances.

"We were more interested in the new brooms Qual-" Sirius began to answer her thoughtlessly when James cut him off. "Er, yes mum. We were going to make a day out of it."

"I see. Well you might want to get a move on before it gets too busy then." Liana gave her furiously blushing son and a rather guilty-faced Sirius one of her knowing looks before she stood gracefully, taking her tea cup with her. She `d made a habit of reading the leaves in its dregs as a morning divination exercise. When she was gone Peter smirked at James and Sirius.

"Busted~" he chimed in a teasing tone. Remus rolled his eyes and fell in to step with his friends as they all headed upstairs to prepare for that day`s excursion. On the way up he fielded questions from his companions as to where he`d been last night. Of course, he was too ashamed and unwilling to admit he`d had a panic attack and therefore botched the truth a bit. 'I wasn`t feeling well' and 'I needed some fresh air so I went for a walk' were among the explanations he gave for his disappearance the previous evening. He was sure at least Sirius knew he was lying about having gone for a walk, but luckily Padfoot didn`t press the matter. After a tense few moments everyone fell back in to their normal comfortable rhythm. No one wanted to dwell on an awkward subject when they were all wondering what had gotten James`s dad riled up. They assumed it was something he`d seen or read in the paper, and it likely pertained to his recent work on a string of what appeared to be serial cursings. Lately a large number of people had been turning up in St. Mungo`s Hospital for Magical Maladies with injuries caused by unidentifiable curses. As a curse breaker, James Potter the elder had become deeply involved with the cases. It seemed he left his work at the office as much as possible though, for his son had little solid information on what his father was dealing with exactly. Liana also seemed to be somewhat out of the loop, and unwilling to share what little she did know. This great mystery was soon chased from the Marauder`s minds for the time being as they disembarked the floo network and arrived in Diagon Alley. Instead, James and Sirius immediately began to make for Quality Quidditch Supplies, where a new broom prototype was said to be coming out.

"Wow, would you look at that? It`s so _sleek_! I bet it flies through the air like a dream!" Excited voices chattered about the entrance and display windows of the small specialty shop. The crowd gathered outside was large enough already that the teens had a difficult time squeezing through to lay eyes on the new model.

" 'The new comet 360 will come with a variety of wondrous features. Including but not limited to; a mounted compass, improved maneuverability, fire-resistant tail trimmings, optional security charms, and custom engraving…' That`s quite the list." Remus commented, having read the majority of the display poster near the broom out loud. The public release date for purchase in the store itself wasn`t for another month, but an advertisement on the door said pre-orders were gladly being accepted at the current time. Remus looked to his friends, who were all practically drooling with envy at the new broom. He couldn`t hold back a small chuckle at their expressions. "You all look like a bunch of school girls fawning over some famous singer."

"Aww shut up, Moony." James grumbled good-naturedly. He was beaming perhaps the brightest of their group. As an avid Quidditch and broom fanatic, James had personally taken it upon himself to keep track of every new event in the world of his favorite sport. Sirius was his enthusiastic companion, and Peter was always there to cheer or egg them on. Remus was the one who wound up bandaging his friends up after they fell off their broomsticks (or in Peter`s case fell off the bleachers) during practice. James of course insisted that he wanted to sign up for the pre-order of the broom and did so with a small deposit fee. Sirius did likewise, although neither Peter nor Remus had the money or desire to do so. Pettigrew decidedly preferred watching to actually playing Quidditch. He was dead clumsy enough with his feet on the ground… Remus was a fair flier, but favored leisurely rides over dodging bludgers. By the time Prongs and Padfoot had signed up for their brooms and the Marauders had perused the store, almost an hour had passed. Remus and Peter needed to go to the bank before they could pick up any of their school supplies, so it was mutually agreed upon that this would be their next stop. The day seemed to fly by marked by their laughter, bad jokes, and the occasional cheeky comment towards a cute girl. James of course had Lily on the brain and decided to make a side trip to a small jewelry store with Peter while Sirius and Remus were left in Flourish and Blott`s bookstore.

"Hey Sirius? Have you seen a copy of '_Moste Potente Potions_'?" Remus asked the dog animagus as he squinted at the shelves. A few shelves down Sirius looked up from the transfiguration book he`d been checking out.

"No, but I`ll help you look." Sirius put the book back on its shelf and began browsing the potions section with his friend. His keen eyes spotted what he thought might be the right book high above their heads near the top of the bookcase. He fetched a nearby stepstool and brought it over. "Think I see it up here." Remus gave his companion a grateful smile and waited as Sirius retrieved the book.

"Sometimes I wonder at your choice of animagus shape, Padfoot." He joked, to which the slightly older boy gave a bark-like laugh. Then his expression turned serious-pardon the pun-and he looked Remus in the eye.

"Alright Moony I got your book. I`ll give it to you, but you have to tell me something first. I know you didn`t take off and go for a walk last night. No one could find you though, and we were worried. Lately you`ve been…off. Like you`re drifting away from us. What`s going on with that?" His gray eyes were sincere; he really was concerned about his friend. Remus looked uncomfortable.

"I…I just wanted some space. I don`t know, I can`t explain it to you. I don`t like you guys any less. It`s everyone though, people in general. I`ve been feeling kind of antisocial. Sorry." The werewolf replied lamely. It was half true, but he didn`t really want to talk about it. He felt bad and at the same time he didn`t. He shrugged noncommittally and picked at an invisible speck on his sleeve.

"So I`ve noticed. I don`t want you to be sorry about it Remus. Do what you need to, but at least be careful. If you won`t talk to me about what`s really bugging you, I hope you`ll at least talk to someone." When Remus had the resolve to look at his friend he found Sirius giving him an unusually hard and perceptive stare. He didn`t see the glint of hurt in the other`s eyes though. Sirius held out the book and Remus took it with a quiet 'thanks'. They finished picking up their books (all of Remus`s were used copies) and went to meet up with James and Peter for a late lunch. Again Remus didn`t eat much, and Sirius watched him out of the corners of his eyes. Everyone made small talk, and afterwards they played a few hands of exploding snap. Eventually they headed back to the Potters` estate via floo. Peter voiced a desire to take a nap, and James had decided he was bent on writing another letter to Lily Evans. (He was still trying to win her over.) Sirius disappeared to the music room to pass the time on the beat up guitar he`d found in a pawn shop earlier that summer. Remus retreated to the attic again to continue reading the book he`d found the other day.

When he got to the room he found it just as he`d left it. Well, almost. There were two other books lying on the bed he hadn`t seen before. One was a faded and ancient photo album, which could only have been preserved so well for so long through magic. Next to the album was a memorial journal full of newspaper clippings that appeared to pertain to pureblood families from a few generations ago. Remus`s brow knotted in confusion but he gingerly picked the photo album up and began flipping through it. The majority of the photos therein were of past generations of the Potter family. Remus was about to lose interest when a picture caught his attention. It was in the lounge of No. 12, Grimmauld Place. He recognized the setting from some of Sirius`s pictures. A man in his teens, one Remus barely recognized as James`s grandfather Charlus Potter, was standing with three other people in front of a fireplace. The room in the background was decorated for the Easter holiday. The wizarding photo portrayed Cygnus Black and his wife, Violetta (née Bulstrode) smiling excitedly. The elder male aristocrat hand one hand behind his wife`s waist. The other, bearing an emerald-inlaid silver family crest ring rested on Charlus`s shoulder. Next to Charlus stood a beautiful but frail-looking girl who appeared to be very unhappy. Remus gathered from the strong family resemblance that she was Cygnus Black`s daughter. The girl had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle and kept looking away from the other teen towards the floor. What stood out to Lupin about the wizarding photo the most was the way the nameless young witch glared at the camera when she looked up. Her silvery gray eyes showed a mixture of fear, fury, and pain. Also, they didn`t seem entirely human. Remus wondered wildly if perhaps she had been a werewolf like him. Caught off guard he abruptly closed the album and began flipping through the memorial journal of newspaper clippings. On the first page there was an inscription; 'This memorial journal is the property of Charlus Potter, commemorating important events in my life.' _That`s a bit odd. Who`d have thought someone so involved in the Pureblood world would have time to make something like this?_ Remus thought, recalling James`s pride-filled stories about his grandfather`s popularity and achievements. The youngest Potter had idolized his ancestor and, looking at Charlus`s articles here Moony could see why. The man had a great many accomplishments to his name, and was something of a small celebrity in his day and time. The younger Gryffindor continued to examine the articles, finding them surprisingly entertaining. Then again, his favorite classes were Defense Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic. He found that the memoir, much like the book of short stories he`d found the other day ended rather abruptly. The last clipping was water-stained and appeared to have been taken from _The Daily Prophet_. Remus read aloud; "'Pureblood Misfortune at Potter Manor', I wonder what this is?" Scanning the article he recited;

" 'On the morning of August 17th, Potter Manor awakened to tragedy. The peace of the Potter`s prize flower garden was broken by a calamitous discovery. A guest staying at Potter Manor, Azaezelle Lucretia Black (newly engaged to handsome young Charlus Potter, aged 17) was found dead among the lilacs. It appears that the sixteen year-old Black, heiress to the Black family fortune fell from her balcony sometime in the early hours of the morning. Authorities have declined to elaborate on the circumstances of Azaezelle`s passing, and it is unclear whether or not foul play was involved. Miss Black was a "star student" according to her teachers and a "steadfast and loyal friend" by popular opinion of her peers. She was a frequent volunteer at St. Mungo`s Hospital for Magical Maladies, and was rumored to have wished to become a medi-witch after graduation. Azaezelle leaves behind both of her parents; Violetta and Cygnus Black, and four siblings; Marius (22), Dorea (15), Cassiopea (9), and Pollux (7). The sixth year Ravenclaw will be dearly missed by her friends, family, and especially her would-be fiancée Charlus. A private funeral has already been scheduled by the family. The public memorial service will be held in the northeast garden of St. Mungo`s tomorrow on August 19th.'"

Remus`s eyes widened at the picture beneath the words; it was the same girl from the photo album he`d found on the bed next to this memoir book. He recognized the water marks on the old parchment for what they actually were now: tear tracks. A few realizations occurred to the teen male then. One was that James`s grandfather had gone on to marry his former fiancée`s younger sibling. He noted that the author of the book of short stories he`d found the other night had the same initials as the deceased Black heiress. Being from a family that named it`s children after stars, it made sense that the girl would have named her characters similarly had she been the author of that book. Additionally, this 'Azaezelle' had died only a few steps from where he`d lain on the Potters` balcony last night. She had stayed in this room, and died just outside of it. Remus couldn`t help but wonder if she`d really fallen off the balcony all those years ago. If she had been a lycanthrope, as he suspected from seeing her first photo where she had been angry, couldn`t she have jumped off? Obviously the young woman, _she was my age_, he thought, had been unhappy with what Remus figured was an arranged marriage between the Potter and Black families. Maybe she and I were alike, he pondered. _Perhaps that`s why I feel comfort in this room? How odd that the place where someone else passed away has become my sanctuary. _The idea disturbed him a little, but this new mystery distracted Remus from his own problems. He wondered curiously if Sirius and James knew about this. With a shrug, he decided it couldn`t hurt to ask. So, he scooped up all three of the books and slipped out of the attic to go find James and question him. No one watched him go this time, for the unseen ghost of the dead girl was instead standing on the balcony, looking down in to the lilac bushes of the garden. _They all think I gave up…Maybe this boy will be clever enough to find the truth. If he discovers my story, perhaps he will be able to free me…_ Azaezelle`s thoughts drifted like clouds across the sky as she stared sadly down at the pale white flowers below.


	3. Marauders Mystery

**Chapter Three: Marauders` Mystery**

"Where`d you even find this stuff?" James asked his friend curiously. He, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were all sitting around in his family`s library. The three books Moony had found were laid out between the boys, as well as an assortment of other documents and drinks. It was late evening now, past dinner time and the sun had just set. The sky outside the mullioned windows was lit brightly by twinkling stars and a waxing quarter moon. Remus had told the other Marauders about his discoveries just after dinner, and the group had migrated to the library to do some research out of curiosity.

"When we got back from Diagon Alley, I found it sitting out on the bed I was using." Remus replied as he unrolled a scroll of parchment with the Potter family tree illustrated on it. His answer wasn`t a direct lie; he had been using that bed. It just wasn`t the bed from the room the family had allowed him to stay in…

"That`s strange, maybe Pip`s going senile and moved it while she was cleaning." Sirius suggested which earned a chortle from Peter and a punch on the arm from James.

"Pip`s not Kreacher, Padfoot. She`s about as senile as you are blonde." The Black heir snickered at James's reprimand.

"Thank the stars she`s not. That noisy bag of bones couldn`t cook to save his life. Pip at least keeps you well fed." He replied, poking Prongs in the stomach as if to imply the other was becoming obese. Peter cackled and Remus laughed at the other boys` antics.

"Who knew relatives could fight like deer and dogs?" Pettigrew inquired lamely.

"What are you babbling about Wormtail?" Sirius asked, trying to wriggle free of the headlock James had put him in.

"Well, when you two can manage to stop playing with each other and keep your hands to yourselves, I`ll explain." The rat animagus responded with vulgar humor. He had been eyeing the family tree Remus was examining and he pointed to it now. The other boys released each other and focused on the mystery at hand once more. "My lovely assistant Remus here will display this diagram for you…" Peter began, and nudged the werewolf to hold up the parchment. Moony raised his eyebrows and gave the younger boy a look that said 'lovely assistant, as if' but complied. "See for yourselves, friends. James, your paternal grandfather married Sirius`s maternal grandfather`s sister. You two are related, didn`t you know?"

Padfoot and Prongs gave each other lost expressions. Clearly neither had known, although perhaps they had entertained the idea. Remus piped up,

"According to the books I found earlier, evidence would suggest that your grandfather was engaged to your grandmother Dorea`s elder sister. It seems like the Lady Black met with an untimely end shortly after a date was set for the wedding."

"Ouch. That`s harsh, just moving on from one girl to her little sister Jamie." Sirius commented. The irony of the statement was not wasted on Peter, who pointed out that several of Sirius`s ancestors had taken the same or similar actions to preserve their precious 'blood purity'. Padfoot responded that he didn`t give a damn about who came from what lineage and he never had.

"So you say, little prince Black." James teased him, although he wasn`t trying to hurt the other`s feelings. They had been friends for years, and Sirius lived at Potter Manor with him now. Since Sirius knew James was only teasing he let the older wizard get away with it. If it had been anyone else he would likely have punched them in the mouth.

"Anyways, what`s the big deal? Why does it matter about Ezekiel or whoever dying right before the wedding?" Sirius questioned Moony with a look.

"Her name was Azaezelle. The article here says she fell off the balcony of your attic, Prongs. One of the other books I found seems to be a collection of short stories written by her. I didn`t think much of it until I read one of them. The last story is incomplete, and it talks about the movements of the constellations in the summer sky. Sirius, this is where I need your help."

"Okay? What do you want me to do?" The raven-haired sixth year seemed confused.

"You`re the best of us at Astrology." Pettigrew told the older Black brother, catching on to where his other friend was going with his train of thought.

"That`s right. So, in the summer sky, has it been known that one constellation or star might be eclipsed by another?"

"Not a whole constellation, but the stars, certainly. That happens pretty often, to be honest. Most astronomers will tell you that about half of the stars in our night sky are made up of binary star systems." Sirius replied thoughtfully. James was looking at him totally lost. Out of the four boys, the Quidditch pro was the worst at Astronomy. He might actually be the worst student of the subject in their grade, by his own estimation. Catching the expression on the younger teen`s face Sirius explained further;

"Binary star systems are made up of two stars revolving around a common central point. Sometimes, you`ll get what`s called a trinity star system, where three stars are revolving around a common point, or where two stars are revolving around a third star. The 'Dog Star' that I`m named after is actually a binary star system."

"Sirius, since you`re knowledgeable on the subject-are there any binary systems where one of the stars shares the name of your grandpa`s sister?" Remus asked, grateful that his companion seemed to be getting interested in the discussion now. Never missing a rare chance to show up his studious friend in academic matters, Padfoot grinned and teased Lupin.

"Don`t you know yourself? No? Eh, I suppose I`ve got you beat here Remus." At seeing the other boy`s irritated glare he mercifully informed the group; "No, there isn`t. At least not for the older sister. Azaezelle is the name of a white star in the constellation Draco. Why the sudden interest, Remus?"

"Because I noticed from reading the short stories left behind in that book that all of the characters not only share names with stars, but also with your relatives. I think the tales here were Azaezelle`s way of recording the events in her family history." Moony told him.

"What gives you that idea? I mean, is there some correlation between the events in the stories and the events of real history?" James hazarded a guess. He really wasn't sure where the werewolf was going with this. The other Gryffindor had never been known to enjoy astronomy, and in fact had only paid attention to the moon phases to help track his changes.

"Yes, there are many instances if you can read in between the lines. Like here;" Remus pointed to a passage in one of the fables that spoke of two stars colliding and creating a beautiful aurora named Lucretia in the sky during the year 1961. "1961 was the year your aunt Lucretia was born, Sirius." Remus pointed out several more examples; he had read almost all the stories in the book by now.

"So you think this is some kind of diary left at Potter manor by my Grandfather`s dead fiancé?" The Potter heir inquired, considering the idea.

"In essence yes. What really gets my attention is this incomplete last story. She`s written about a star that fell for the moon, and was stricken from the skies by the moon`s jealous lover. The lover stalked the star and forced her to keep her love for the moon a secret. A man, having mistaken the fallen star for a beautiful woman grew fond of her. Being a person of wealth and power, he proposed to the star and she was forced by her guardians to accept the offer. The guardians were in league with the jealous lover of the moon. Another star watched from the heavens as the man fell in love with her former peer. She who had warred with the first star for a place in the sky then longed to know the companionship of man. The story ends there, with no conclusion as to what happened to any of the characters."

"And…? Obviously she died before she could finish the story. It sounds like she wasn`t happy about being married off to James`s grandfather, so she jumped off the ledge and killed herself." Peter stated bluntly. He didn`t see what had gotten Remus so worked up. He hadn`t even known the girl, she had lived and died years before their time. So what difference did it make?

"I could believe that if I thought she was human." Remus told the watery-eyed butterball.

"You think my relative wasn`t human then?" Sirius inquired in a bewildered tone. He took a seat in one of the nearby wing backed chairs and shoved his shoulder length hair back from his face. James watched the others, confused and trying to fit the pieces together.

"Look at that picture I found earlier. Look at her eyes and tell me if you think she was just a run of the mill witch." With one slender, calloused hand the werewolf pushed the photo album forward to the photograph he`d seen earlier that had unnerved him. The other three boys scooted up and bent closer to get another glance. After a moment James leaned back, his face showing surprise.

"You believe she`s a lycanthrope." He stated, agreeing with the assumption wordlessly.

"Yeah, I do. Your attic window is three floors up, yes? The assumed cause of death would then be from something like a broken neck, wouldn`t you think? However, no mention is made as to any injuries. According to the archives I`ve been able to dig up so far, this girl was in perfect health, except for being dead."

"What are you saying, Moony?" James`s voice was hushed, cautious. None of them realized that they`d all been whispering for the majority of their conversation. It was a good thing too, for house elves had very sharp ears. Pip couldn`t make out what the young masters were talking about from where she stood on the other side of a nearby bookcase cleaning, but if she had heard what was said next she would have likely had a heart attack.

"I`m saying…I think someone murdered your grandpa`s first fiancé. Obviously according to the story the first star is Azaezelle. I don`t know what it means that she 'fell in love with the moon', unless that means she had feelings for someone else before Charlus became smitten with her."

"Someone else who had lycanthropy for example?" Sirius mused, thinking it wouldn`t be the first time someone in his family had become enamored of a dark creature.

"Possibly. That would fit with the part about being 'stricken from the skies by the moon`s jealous lover', wouldn`t it? The jealous lover might have been a werecreature. Maybe they attacked Azaezelle to drive her away, and that`s how she became what she was. Then Charlus Potter met her and the 'moon`s lover' left her alone. She hid her affliction from him so he didn`t know. But someone else had feelings for your grandpa too, James. He was a pretty popular guy; so he must have had quite a few admirers."

"Why`d you ask me about binary stars earlier Remus?" Sirius broke in, obviously a bit confused by the turn the Marauders` conversation had taken.

"I asked because of the part where the story references another star that fought with the first for a place in the sky. I thought it might be a clue to whoever else had the hots for Charlus. Obviously Azaezelle knew that other people wanted the 'handsome, young Potter'. She must`ve known that by becoming engaged to him that would piss someone off. Perhaps she started getting hate mail or threats to discourage her."

"But because the Black family is so obsessed with the concept of 'Toujours Pur' her parents wouldn`t let her break the engagement contract. After all, they were so desperate to keep the bloodline 'pure' that they had her little sister go on and marry Potter after Azaezelle died." Padfoot broke in to the whispered discussion angrily.

"I never met them, but I`m told that my gran and gramps loved each other and were known for having a 'golden marriage'. I don `t think Dorea was forced in to marrying Charlus. Call me crazy, but maybe they just grew close after her death because the families had grieved over her loss together." James theorized, and then added "Besides, we can`t be certain she didn`t die of a broken neck. You said yourself the reports don`t include that, but maybe it was considered too morbid to print that she offed herself." He wasn`t exactly defensive over the matter, but James also didn`t see any need to jump to conclusions about murder.

"You may be right, but wouldn`t it be something if she was killed and it got covered up?" Peter rejoined the group after having perused a few more of the old articles Charlus Potter had saved.

"Wouldn`t it be what, Wormtail?" Prong`s eyes narrowed slightly at the proposal.

"Oh, you know. It could be interesting to solve a mystery. An adventure like we used to go on at school before last year. Except this time there`s no danger of Moony actually hurting anyone."

"Maybe." James admitted, before he glanced at the other two teens in the room. Sirius seemed game for it; he had a morbid sort of curiosity where his family history was concerned. Remus however, looked like someone had just punched him in the stomach at Pettigrew`s words. Apparently Padfoot had noticed too, because he growled;

"Peter! How the bloody hell could you be so thick and insensitive?! None of that was Remus`s fault! As I seem to recall, _you_ were the one who orchestrated that entire prank." Too late, Black made to reassure his friend. Remus was already moving towards the door, his jaw clenched along with his fists. Sirius reached out to grab him by the arm, but the other male flung his hand away in wordless hurt and ran out on the group.

"Nice going Pete." James scowled at the younger, fatter Gryffindor. Sirius outright shoved him and snarled;

"Think before you speak, ass! Don`t you know he still feels guilty about that? He doesn`t even remember what happened! Merlin`s beard, man. Sometimes I wonder if you have any brains in your head at all."


	4. Plots and Predicaments

**A/N: A slightly longer chapter this time, my way of apologizing for the delay in updates. I`ve been working on a few other fan fictions, as well as my own original story so I`ve been a bit busy. I hope you like this one, it`s full of character and plot development and I think it turned out fairly well. Please review! I am especially curious to see your thoughts on Peter and Dora. Side note: I have changed the ages up a bit, and certain events in the timeline *may* not be occurring at the same time in the original story by JKR. **

**Chapter Four: Plots and Predicaments**

Friday morning found James and Sirius tagging along with Liana Potter to her job at St. Mungo`s Hospital for Magical Maladies. The boys had given Liana the excuse that they wanted to check in on a friend that was staying at the hospital, while she went to work there. Mrs. Potter spent her time at St. Mungo`s as a "visiting angel" for patients who had no one else to come see them. She had built quite a reputation for herself as a kind-hearted woman, and was delighted that some of her attitude seemed to be rubbing off on her son and his best mate. However, knowing the mischief the pair always seemed to find she had made them both promise to try their hardest to stay out of it and not cause anyone any trouble. James had felt slightly guilty making the promise when considering the real reason for their coming with his mother in the first place. Sirius had charmingly clapped him on the shoulder and promised Liana that he would make certain her son was on his best behavior. It had been obvious from the amused sparkle in the older witch`s eyes that she hadn`t believed that statement, but she had let them go anyways. She trusted James`s judgment; she`d raised him after all.

"Siri, who was it you knew that worked here? You mentioned something about 'her' being able to show us around and possibly get us access to the hospital`s confidential records?" James asked quietly. He and Padfoot were strolling along casually through a hall on the second floor, just two handsome devils minding their own business.

"Eh…well, she doesn`t 'work' here. She just spends a lot of time here. Trust me though she knows her way around this place." The eldest Black son replied evasively. He was leading the way along the pastel-hued corridor like he knew where he was going. They turned left at a fork in the hall and found themselves in a ward decorated with bright, cheerful pictures drawn by children. Colorful chairs graced a small waiting area which also contained an assortment of children`s toys and coffee tables piled with story books and magazines. James was looking around in confusion, wondering why Sirius was leading them through the youth wing. A thought occurred to him as he put two and two together.

"Padfoot! We aren`t going to bribe your little cousin in to helping us, are we?"

"Don`t announce it to the world, Prongs! And yes, we are going to bribe Dora. She`s so hopelessly clumsy, you wouldn`t believe how many times she`s been here since she was born. Not to mention she has all the orderlies wrapped around her pinky finger, so she gets away with murder." Sirius chuckled and checked the number on a nearby door. Tonks had to be around here somewhere; she _always_ managed to get placed in this hall. The young witch had told him once it was because she liked the view of the gardens from here, but the teenaged wizard knew it was more because of her age. Nymphadora`s mother, Andromeda, was actually Sirius`s elder cousin by way of his mother`s side. Andromeda was Sirius`s favorite cousin because she had the spine to stand up against what he considered ridiculous traditions. The Pureblood witch from his proud family had snubbed the idea of arranged marriage to other Purebloods, and instead fallen in love with and married a muggle. Dora was the result, and she had just turned six a few months ago.

"Did I hear someone offer to bribe me?" A sly, childish voice asked from somewhere in the vicinity of Sirius`s knees. When the black-haired teen looked down to detect the source he found his relative grinning impishly at him. Her dark eyes sparkled with mischief and her heart shaped face was currently framed by a wild mane of bright orange hair.

"Hey there, imp." Sirius gave her a smile and ruffled the girl`s hair. She giggled and replied;

"Hi Siri, hi Siri`s friend James." The youth had met the Potter heir a few times, but it had mostly been in passing and she had been even younger then so the memories were a bit fuzzy.

"How do you do, Miss Dora?" James asked, and shook the child`s hand seriously.

"I`m great! I learned a new color this morning! Look Siri, I made my hair the same color as carrots."

"I see that, it`s very carrot-y." Black replied, sounding suitably impressed to please the small girl. Ever full of energy, Tonks was skipping and dancing circles around the two older boys. Abruptly, she tripped over her shoelaces which had come undone and landed hard on her rear. "Are you alright, D?" Her cousin asked with an expression of concern. She smiled and picked herself up, dusting off the seat of her corduroy coveralls.

"I`ll be okay if you give me some candy." She informed him, looking solemn and pouty.

"That won`t do, I was already going to bribe you with candy so you`d help me with something. Too much and you`ll get a bellyache and your teeth will all rot out."

"Sirius, you`re a bad influence on this kid. Look at those puppy dog eyes! I have to wonder who taught her that if not you." James observed as he tried to hide a smile by adjusting his glasses on his nose.

"Hey, in my defense, her mom`s the one who taught _me_. So, you know, she could have very well learned it from her." Padfoot caught Nymphadora watching them with a thoughtful visage. She spoke up;

"Siri, what do you want my help with?"

"Well, it`s top-secret. Like those muggle spy movies your mom likes. I`ll tell you, but you have to promise to keep it quiet. Okay?"

"I cross my heart!" Dora chimed, making the age old motion over her chest.

"Alright. I need you to help James and I find our way around this place and in to where ever they keep all the patient and volunteer records. We`re trying to get there without being noticed, since we aren`t really supposed to be there." Sirius was whispering all this in his little cousin`s ear in case there was anyone else nearby. James was keeping a lookout, and no one had happened across the trio`s mischief council yet. Dora smiled confidently and told him;

"I can get you there and in for sure. That`s gonna cost you at least three chocolate frogs though."

"That`s not a problem, I brought you a whole bag." The marauder grinned and produced a large bag of chocolate frogs from a pocket inside his robes. He dangled them above Dora before putting them back in his pocket. "First, tell us how, then I`ll give you the goods."

"You`re setting her up to be a black market information broker, Sirius." James joked, still keeping an eye out for passerby. His friend shrugged and smirked as if to say 'how do you think we got our last name?'

"Agreed. C`mon, it`s this direction." Tonks led the way after that, and with the aid of James`s invisibility cloak, the three managed to work their way down to the first level of the basement. The level beneath this held the morgue, and after Dora got her candy she understandably didn`t want to stick around in proximity to the place. That left James and Sirius to begin their secretive rummaging through files that were years old, searching for just one tidbit of information.

Back at Potter manor, Remus was attempting to help Peter catch up with all the homework the younger Gryffindor hadn`t done over the summer. They had been at it for almost three hours now after eating breakfast, and not much progress had been made. Remus was getting a bit frustrated at having to explain the same few points repeatedly since Pettigrew kept spacing out.

"Wormtail, pay attention! Bloody Christmas, what are you staring off in to space about again?!"

"Ah! Er, nothing. Sorry, Remus. I just can`t seem to focus on anything today."

"Really? I hadn`t noticed." Lupin remarked sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. He prodded the other teen with the end of a ruler they had been using for Arithmancy calculations. "Peter, what`s on your mind?" The werewolf wondered out loud. His companion shrugged and didn`t answer at first. His thoughts seemed to have swallowed his attention again, but after a moment he finally looked over and responded.

"I got a letter from my mum this morning. She was…well, she and my dad are…it kind of sucks. I guess my parents are…they`re getting divorced. And, since I`m only fifteen I can`t live on my own yet. She was asking me who I wanted to live with."

"Oh. Wow. I`m sorry, I didn`t know." Remus said lamely, suddenly feeling bad for getting irritated at the other boy. He had been too wrapped up in his own problems after having a panic attack in the bathroom earlier that day to have noticed how his friends was acting strangely.

"Yeah…I don`t know what to do. I mean, I love them both. I`d rather stay with my dad, since at least he`s around to do stuff with me sometimes instead of always working. But mom said…I don`t get how she could even say something like that to me. Why wouldn`t she have told me earlier?! Or she could have at least gotten a test done or something like that. They have ancestry spells, right?" Pettigrew was on the verge of near panicking himself now. His normally rosy cheeks were pale with anger and his pale blue eyes sparked forcefully in a manner Lupin had rarely witnessed.

"Wormtail, what are you talking about? What did your mum say that`s got you so upset at her, aside from that she and your dad are splitting up?"

"She said that my dad might not actually be my dad. She said she wasn`t sure. She told me that in a bloody letter, fifteen years after I was born. Like, couldn`t the woman have walked in to St Mungo`s with me and had a blood test done if she was that worried about it?" The rat animagus threw his hands up in the air, dropping his quill moodily down on the table they had been using in the Potter`s library as a result. He glared at the ceiling for a few moments, squinting so he wouldn`t cry. He _hated _crying, it made him look weak. _Who am I kidding? I am weak. I`m weak and damn near useless, not strong like Sirius, or rich like James, or even smart like Remus. If I was only a different person, everything would be better. If I was a more talented wizard I could change all this. It wouldn`t matter if I was related by blood to my dad or not, because if I was some star like James then he`d love me and be proud of me anyways. Maybe if I wasn`t always screwing up so much mother wouldn`t have to work so hard. Bloody hell, but I wish I could be more powerful. If I just had that everything else would fall in to place. I could get a scholarship to a good school, impress some pretty girl, make friends with the folks at the Ministry, and get myself a comfy desk job that pays a tidy bundle. If I was just a bit stronger…_Peter`s thoughts of self-depreciation were interrupted once more as Remus spoke again.

"I wish I could make it easier on you, you don`t deserve that kind of crap, mate. For what it`s worth though, you`ll always have James and Sirius and I in your corner. We`re here for you when you need us." The werewolf awkwardly attempted to comfort his friend of nearly six years. If he had been possessed the talent of Legilimancy, he might have realized the sinister ring his words took as they echoed over and over in Wormtail`s head. _'You don`t deserve this kind of crap…' No,_ Peter thought angrily, _I deserve so much better. I deserve a bloody chance to be happy. _The gears had begun to turn in his mind and a plan had begun to form. The short male stood from his seat and out loud he said;

"I think I`ll go for a walk to clear my head. Let me know when Padfoot and Prongs get back."

Summer had been hot and unbearable so far at Spinner`s end. This year the break between semesters at Hogwarts seemed to stretch particularly long for Severus Snape. But perhaps that was due in part to his best friend`s absence. So much had happened last year between the two of them, and Severus wasn`t quite sure where they stood now. Potter and his bloody Marauders had pranked him mercilessly all throughout the year. The one exception to that had consistently been Remus Lupin, who as a rule usually had his head buried in a book. Even that had changed, however. Last year, Severus had been tricked by that butterball Peter Pettigrew (how had that rat-faced idiot outmaneuvered him?) and the ever-popular Sirius Black in to pursuing them one night when they snuck out of the castle. He had been hoping to find them up to some sort of trouble making he could turn them in to Headmaster Dumbledore for. What he had actually found was a deeply traumatizing, terrifying secret. Lupin was a werewolf, and had been since before he had begun to attend school at Hogwarts. Dumbledore himself had known about the condition already and had made special accommodations of all things, just so the shabby Gryffindor could complete his education there. On some levels, Severus had been able to sympathize with the other wizard. They were both exceptionally poor and had to work extremely hard to make a place for themselves in the wizarding world. (Unlike Black who had literally been born with a silver spoon in his arrogant mouth.) They both enjoyed certain subjects, and they both studied hard and got above average grades. But, that tiny portion of empathy had gone out the window when Lupin had attacked him. From what Severus had learned of werecreatures over this summer and since the attack, Remus had not been in his right mind when the full moon rose and caused him to change shape. Try as he might though (given he wasn`t trying _that_ hard) the Slytherin could not stop the icy rise of fear in his gut whenever he thought of the lycanthrope. He had been thinking about Remus entirely more than he was comfortable with as well, usually in the form of nightmares where the other teen transformed and tore him to pieces with monstrous teeth the size of sabers.

Add to that the fact that one of Lupin`s best friends had driven Severus to calling Lily Evans a 'Mudblood' out of shame and humiliation, and his year of horror had been complete. His best friend had refused to respond to his attempts at an apology, either written or verbal, for a month after the incident. She hadn`t talked to him, and had barely even glanced his direction either. To top it off, that (stupid, infuriating, egocentric, bloody bastard) James Potter had been hanging all around her and she hadn`t seemed to mind nearly as much as she had before. Severus had been practically dying to speak with her, to at least try to mend the friendship they had once had, and so many times Potter had intervened either by accident or direct opposition. That was why he`d so badly wanted to get the Marauder`s expelled once and for all. If James wasn`t around to torment him and try to steal Lily away, then he would get the chance he so desperately needed to repair their relationship. Maybe after that, it would even grow… But no, Lupin had 'accidentally' hospitalized Severus with minor injuries and the worst case of nightmares he`d ever had. That first night he had even wet the bed in his sleep. His mortification as the school nurse had woken him and told him to clean up was almost enough to kill him outright. Luckily, _that_ tidbit hadn`t gotten out around Hogwarts. Lily had visited Severus once in the hospital wing while he had been made to stay there, but he had been asleep. She had left him a single note; _'I`m still furious with you. You`re a right bloody git. But I`m relieved you`re okay. I want to talk to you again.'_ That note had been the only thing he had to hang on to his sanity with. Unfortunately, it came on the last day of term, and Severus was made to go on a special side trip with Dumbledore as soon as he was released from the hospital, before he could return home. The next week when he got back to Spinner`s End, Severus was crushed to find out that the Evans family had all taken a two month vacation to some place called 'Aruba'. He thought it was in South America, but wasn`t entirely sure considering as he cared little for muggle geography. (The wizarding world had always held more interest for Severus, as he hoped to escape there when he was old enough and could get away from Tobias.) Now, those two months were over and Lily was supposed to be coming back with her family today. The wait would finally be over, Severus thought with twin feelings of apprehension and relief. He sat in his desk chair, leaning over the back of it and staring out his window at the street. In five days, the new semester would begin at Hogwarts. The young Slytherin dared to hope that he could make things up with Lily before they went back.


End file.
